"Good Ole Boys"

"So you don't watch no football?" Says my Augusta coworker
"No, No i dont watch football" I have to answer that way because the man just pulled a double negative on me, not like i was expecting Shakespeare to flow out this beer bellied miller high life cap wearing chud. I just hate double negatives
"Hows about auto sports?" he questions. I had to keep from bursting, dude if i don't watch football how would i be down for circular driving or tractor pulls.
But i reply a polite "Nope"
"Shit man do you even like apple pie?"
"like it? i fucken love it, i have a slice with vanilla bean ice cream and cup of black tea every night." i retorted very matter of factually
"Teas for faggots, far as i know" there was a bit of a snap in his voice
"how about ice tea?" i asked and gestured to his glass that was full of UNsweet ice tea
He took a long pause then said "Lipton for real men!"

A Service workers manifesto Pt I

This was not my home, I had tried and tried for years to make it my own after my parents had sold the house down south and moved to the rural part of this state. Lost with no play to lay your heart, I guess that’s why I couldn’t bond with Lawrence. As far as Kansas goes it’s the bees knees. All young people all fairly liberal collage folk, hipsters dude bros scene kids. I mean some of those people are my type right? If not then everything is lost then this is all a lie. Already I know it’s a lonely type of lie just a few years ago I had a crew. MSF mass street family’s now where’s that family? Was I the black sheep of that family too? Its not like I was cast out to the live in this loneliness I now embrace every second. I built these walls. Walls of work, walls of being so bummed by the way people had treated me there was no letting anyone truly in anymore. Not like the wanted to right? I mean no one asked “ Hey Kenny u feel like yr two second from really and truly snapping?”. Its not me, its this society, built on blood and workers tears. Is this life? Work this hard till one day your numbers up? Doesn’t sound like ill ever retire from all this. There’s no end to my work, in this life at least. It’s a good thing I love what I do. To cook, for someone who can paint or play guitar or write legibly cooking would be no big deal. But it’s the only thing creative I can do, and I love it. Its my expression my dance around the pots and pans. Plucking greens like a guitarist plucks is notes. Now if someone would only pay me enough to live to do it I would be happy.

 2 years, 2 years of my life I spent toiling under the bosses thumb. Never doing anything right when I was a manager. Being scared having sleepless nights. I guess that’s the one sense that cancer truly changed my outlook on life. What doesn’t  kill you makes you stronger right? I found it a little bit different. What didn’t kill me made me not want to put up with any more of this “yes sir” bullshit.   And made me enraged when I had to. but with a cool exterior. And the loss of her, the one person I had to lean on. She was there for me for 2 years. But the cancer took her away too. No one would ever see until the infamous  night how lost I was with out her. I guess this is what this is all about. A Man with no friends with in a thousand miles breaking down. Snapping after being treated like shit and having to bear it the whole time. I Mean yes there’s a political aspect to all of this too. My burglary was my revolution, my revenge, my fuck with fire dare.  Witch leads us to part II, the second part……..

Free as a mother fucken bird i swear

its not often i'm this happy to see a mug shot of my self. But when that mug shots stamped on my papers to get back to the homies. In that case i'm glad to see that hairy drunk staring back at me. after all this anticipation and after dodging all my bad karma i am FREE, of this decaying Kansas town. cheers and ill see all my loved ones back home

Laundry Day

Its been near a year and a half since we went our separate ways. out of the year and a half, a majority of it we haven't been on speaking terms Other than when u said u forgave me for being a let down. i use to find yr old hair pins in the old apartments. These were useful, nothing could clean a pipe better. But each time i scraped around a bowl i though of you. When the law took me away i forfeited all those hair pins to the evidence locker in Douglas county, along with my favorite pair of shoes. then i moved to the awful part of Kansas at first i clung to your love letters, but now I've but them in a drawer that i never have business opening. Out of sight out of mind. I went from thinking of us every single day to not at all unless invoked by a picture or song or TV show. i guess that's the progress i wanted, i didn't care about  moving  on but just to feel like less of a fuck up. So i cruise along in this apathetic state. Until today when i was doing laundry and found one of yr socks still in circulation in my laundry. i knew in an instant it was yours. not a pair, a singular sock of no use to me other than bringing my mind right back to ground zero. Back to all the pain and disappointment, its fucken ridiculous that a piece of foot paraphernalia could evoke any of emotion. whats more ridiculous is how its still floating around in my personal laundry. i guess that's what the suppressed memory of you is, i don't even know those memory's are there until laundry day.